Monday

Well I'm happy to report that I'm not crying and have not cried all day today. I did however wake up with the puffiest eyes ever and couldn't even wear my contacts because my eyeballs hurt. How pathetic is that?! Geesh! :)

I'm honestly quite angry with myself for allowing someone to have such an effect on me and make me doubt myself and make me feel like there is something wrong with me. Hey, I know I'm not perfect but I'm a good person and I don't deserve to be treated the way that I was.

Thanks to my brother & my wonderful friends, I am starting to see things in a different perspective and am realizing that there are a lot of things in life that we can't control...people get sick, we lose people that we love, all kinds of horrible things that we have absolutely no control over. I've lost too many people that I love, my mom died when I was only 22, my grandfather whom I loved like a father died this past November, my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago--thank god she is healthy now!!...those types of things I can't control. But what I can control is who I let into my life and how I allow them to treat me. I can't control how someone treats me per say but I can control how I respond to it and if I continue to let it happen. I was raised to always see the good in people and while I do believe that is a good quality, I tend to make excuses for people when they are hurtful...that only goes so far. When someone continues to hurt someone else and it is brought to their attention time & time again and they don't change their behavior...that's a problem and to me, it means they really don't give a shit about your feelings. This applies to my current situation, my marriage, this psycho friend I made at one of my jobs in Washington...anyone.

Sorry for my psycho-babble tangent but hey, I spent the whole weekend in bed crying so I had a lot of time to think. :) I'm trying to make light of a depressing situation and to actually learn from it and not let it happen again.

So, that's that.

I had a good day at work today. We had our first official test regarding what we've learned in the first two weeks and I scored a 92%, a 90% or above was considered a passing grade and only 3 of us officially passed. Geico does put a lot of importance & value on these tests and quizzes that we randomly have but in training, it's used more as a tool to help coach you with things that you need help with and at the same time they praise you for what you've done well.

We also started taking live calls. It's so funny because I was in a call center environment for 2 years at First Healthcare and then 3 years at Medtronic so it's not like the phones were new to me. However, I was nervous because it's new which I'm sure is quite normal. I sat with my friend Chelsea and she listened in on my calls while I took them, she'd point to the screen or write me a note if I was missing something and then we switched spots and I did the same. I felt pretty good about the calls that each of us took. I bet we each took maybe 8 or 9 which was a nice slow start. Tomorrow we'll take about 2 hours and take some more calls and those calls will actually be monitored by our quality team so I'm a little nervous about that, not only do they record your calls but they also record everything that you are doing on your computer. I think it's great for learning purposes but a little intimidating.

Oh, have I mentioned that it is so humid here? Ohmygod. Today when I left work and stepped outside it felt like I was walking in to a sauna. I stepped outside not too long ago to take the garbage out and it is still so humid. Ugh. I did not miss this part of western NY one bit. :) Oh-well.

Well I hope everyone had a good day....thank you to all of my wonderful friends for always being there for me, it means the world to me.

Love,
M.