Hello...well, I made it here safe & sound and finally found a place that has free wi-fi so I could get online. It is killing me to not have the internet, I can live with only having 3 tv channels but this no internet thing is just ridiculous.
So, here I am. I know I should be all excited and happy that I reached my destination and have a new beginning but I feel the total opposite. I have a million different emotions going on right now so I'm not making any major decisions any time soon but I can't help but feel like I made a mistake by coming back here. It is not the "home" that I remember. It has been a huge culture shock. I cried like a baby walking in to my Grandpa's empty house and it's weird being there without him.
On the flip side, I know that once I get a job and get my own apartment that I will probably feel better. Plus I've only been here a few days so I really can't discount it just yet.
I'm sad and am homesick....funny I always thought of Lockport as my home but now I'm feeling like Washington really was my home and I didn't realize it until I left. There's a lot of things that I didn't realize until I left or until I got here....things that I thought would be the same are different, things that I thought would be different are the same.
Once again I am learning who the people are in my life that really care for me and once again, it has been a surprise to learn that those that I thought cared about me as a person and a friend, really didn't.
So, I apologize for such a depressing post but that's my mood right now and I have to go with it. I am keeping busy....bought a new James Patterson book and have a bunch of movies to watch.
Went for a walk with Darcy last night and I plan on going for another walk later today.
I'll probably post again tomorrow...."Panera Bread" is here in Lockport and offer free wi-fi so I have a feeling they'll get used to seeing me here.
Take care everyone and I'll be in touch again soon.
Love,
M.
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