Friday

I'm not feeling too great today but I'm trying to be patient with myself. Some days my mind and my heart get so confused, one wants to do something and the other wants to do something else.

Like yesterday, I decided for the umpteenth time that I did not want to stay here and wanted to move back to WA. But then later in the evening I tell myself that I need to at least give things a chance out here. I keep going back & forth.

I can honestly say that at this very moment, I have no idea what I want and I really do not know how to figure it out. I don't know where I want to live, where I want to work, what I want for dinner, nothing. Last night was another crying on & off evening and then staying up until almost 5 in the morning, waking up and starting to cry all over again. I can't even blame it on hormones...ha ha.

I went for a walk yesterday after Teri got out of work, that was a nice....but then I went out and bought a little container of donut holes, so that defeated the whole purpose of walking. :)

It's been really warm again today but now it's starting to get cloudy and windy and I think that we're going to get some thunderstorms, I really hope so. I feel like Shirley Manson from "Garbage" in their song "I'm only happy when it rains"....but I really like thunderstorms. :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope the next time I post that I'm in a better state of mind.

-M.